You Complete Me: Biblical Womanhood as Covenant Help

Time on your way to your seats. Thank you, guys. Good stuff. Man, You show up on Sunday, Hey you know what Good job.

To the people doing slides in the back too. Y'all found that song and everything. Good stuff. I hadn't heard that song in a minute.

I love it when the worship team just follows the call of God.

How we feeling today. We feeling good, I'm feeling good. I don't know about you, I'm excited. I'm going to tell the people in the back: "Hey, make sure you get this sermon right, cuz this is probably the one that's going to be posted".

I was.

I was right here in the front row and I was worshiping to that song. And that song's interesting, right, Because it's one of those that for over a year I've just been worshiping to. But it's not your traditional worship song. It's got like a different signature: It, It And even the words.

It's not like I'm talking to God.

It's simply talking about what it's like to bring all of the pain and destruction or dysfunction in your life and lay it down with the one who can take all your burden on himself. Just lay it down at the altar And he'll consume it And he'll get rid of it. He'll cast your sin as far as the east is from the west. And today I'm going to talk about the, the godly woman, the biblical role of a woman, cuz I talked about men last week, So I hope you'll give me the grace to talk to you, women in the room.

I hope you give me the grace to do it.

But I was standing there and I was worshiping and I was just thinking, like Hannah in the Bible- not Hannah, my wife, though you're the same way, Hannah in the Bible- like there was a desperation to her worship that caused God to meet her there, Even if you were to go to Hagar in Genesis. There was a desperation when she was out, having been cast out by her leaders and Sarai. She's out in the wilderness with her son Ishmael and the Lord meets her. There's a There's.

There's a desperation that many of the godly women I know have.

They know they can't live life without their creator And so, whether it's a physical altar or whether it's their life, they, they lean on him. I didn't say this in the first service- I probably should have, but I think out here in the West that a godly woman is hard to find, Because many of us didn't grow up in this church world, And- And what I hope to do today is maybe, for some of you, set you on this pathway where you can experience a connection with God that has such an impact in the world that it would like permeate even your grandkids' thoughts about how they operate. And maybe some of you, Some of you- have had a grandparent or even a mom who interacted with you in such a way that you're like "Man, my mom prayed for me", But I think, in some ways, we've lost the art of it, And so that's just one component. But as we talk today about what it's like to be a godly woman, I just want you to know that a lot of that has been lost, So a lot of this will be familiar.

Some of it might not be.

So open your hearts to what God might have for you. Ephesians, I believe it is, talks about the idea of opening the eyes of our heart, that we might see the things of God, And so ask God to open up the eyes of your heart, that he might reveal something to you. Today, Inevitably, when the Bible is read, God can speak through it. So I'd encourage you consider what God has for you today.

My sermon title is a simple one Comes from Jerry Maguire: You complete me.

Biblical womanhood is covenant help. That's a long title for me, but I wanted to be as clear as possible for the YouTube viewers later, Just so. Have you all ever seen that movie, Jerry Maguire? I saw it when I was a kid.

I don't know how appropriate it is.

I'm not telling you to go watch it. I don't remember anything about the movie other than Tom Cruise crying- One of the greatest actors of our time- And he said: "You complete me". I never forgot that line And I was thinking about it in the context of this message, because I think the world has gotten not just biblical manhood wrong, but biblical Like what is a godly woman. I think the culture's gotten it wrong, Both the church culture and the secular culture.

I don't think you're called to just be a trad wife, Just for anyone in the room who knows what a trad wife is.

I brought it up to my wife. She's like, "What's a trad wife" And I'm like "Good". She doesn't know, but there's nothing inherently wrong with being a trad wife either. You.

You do what you're called to do, boo-boo.

But like. I don't think the Bible says: just go be a trad wife. I asked my wife recently. I said: "Give me some examples in the Bible of trad wives in Scripture" And we came up with essentially Sarah in the Old Testament.

I'm sure there's a couple others there, but I could argue against it.

So don't try. I mean you can try but it's going to make you look bad. Anyways, there aren't too many examples of that. But for my whole life I've been told that there's a way that a godly woman is- And yes, there's a spiritual component to it that they talked about.

But a lot of it, Like most of the godly women I knew growing up in the, growing up in the South, were that trad wife style.

And so many men in the room, I think, and women as well, grew up thinking that if I'm going to be a biblical woman, I got to act like this. And I want you to know that's not the case. All throughout Scripture there are tons of different types of godly women. They did different things.

Some people were called to the home, Some people were called to work, Some people were called to battle, Some people were called to the altar.

It was varied all throughout Scripture. Some hid spies and some birthed the Lord. You know it's so different for different people. So I don't want you to be bogged down in any type of superficial version of what a godly woman is according to your dad or according to somebody else.

I want you to look at the Scriptures and try to understand what God has for you Because ultimately, your role as a woman is not some superficial activity.

It is a posture and a mindset that serves the Lord And when you get married, it impacts your marriage positively. That's why I said you complete me. I'll start with the Scripture in Psalm 121, verses 1 and 2. It's not even a Scripture about women.

It's a Scripture about the Lord.

The psalmist says: "I lift my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help? Greek word? There is a variant of ezer- to help, to assist, In this case to rescue.

I lift my eyes up to the mountains.

Where does my rescue, my help come from? Verse 2, my help, ezer, comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. And if we jump back to the beginning of our world- Genesis chapter 1, God creates the heavens and the earth and then he fills it with all the beasts and he separates the light from the dark, and he separates the land from the ocean, And then he creates man in his image and gives it, gives man authority over all of creation, And in chapter 2, verse 18, God looks at the man who, at the time, is alone, and he says: "It is not good for man to be alone". I will make a helper, As there suitable an egg dough for him, A corresponding help.

Now, this is where we screwed it up When we teach it, because we grew up in I don't know.

Leave It to Beaverville or something like that. No, was it as Pleasantville? No, Stepford Wives, Was that Pleasantville? I don't even know.

You get what I'm talking about, though.

We grew up in that world Where men did their thing and women did their thing, and there was no carryover, and I think to some extent, God has called us into different tasks. But in terms of posture, that's where I want to spend the time today. A man's posture, as I talked about last week, is to be self-sacrificial. In the same way that Christ Jesus loved the church As the head of the church, we're called to love our wives As head of the household.

So what are women called to do?

Ephesians tells us to respect Well, it tells us: "Husbands love your wives, Wives respect your husbands". But I want to take you back to the beginning, cuz I'm big on first principles. God created woman because it was not good for man to be alone. He needed a counterpart.

Man was standing there alone in the Garden of Eden, and I don't know if there were mountains or not, but Adam was like like, looking to the Lord for his help.

And the Lord provided it, Not just with walking with him in the cool of the day, but he said: "I'm going to provide you a woman". So he fashions woman out of a rib taken from man, which is a good opportunity for me to tell you we're handing out ribs next week. That's the joke. Jake, I'm proud of you.

You made a dad joke.

It's a young Padawan. If they don't Jokes that you don't laugh at, it means they're up here. That's what I tell myself at least. But here's a big idea for you about how God created you women in the room.

A biblical woman is a covenant ally.

She's strong, wise, steady, is shaped by the fear of God. You're an ally, not an assistant. So when it says you're his helper, I just, I just want to throw this away Like. That doesn't mean you're subservient, Doesn't mean you're a slave.

It means you are his partner and ally, Meant as an ezer enegdo, ezer, helper, ally, rescue, enegdo, corresponding.

You're meant to complement your husband, not in specific activities- Those change all the time- But in posture. He follows God in a specific way where he sacrifices, just like Christ did. You're called to be a helper And while God rescues us in terms of our salvation, God made woman to rescue man from his loneliness. It is not your job to just fulfill his loneliness.

No, it was just ontologically bad that man was alone And so he created woman because man was not complete without woman.

You complete your husband, Anna, Anna, You complete me And she does. You ever met me without my wife? I can handle myself. I can do a lot of work.

When she's gone out of town, I get a lot more work done cuz I don't have to spend time with her.

But I love spending time with you, sweetie. Work is not my, is not my top calling. You're one of my top callings, Dot, then you, then the kids. It's why they're in Texas right now, .

But now I, I am, I am.

It is not good for Matt to be alone. I'll never forget. One time I went to a church. It was a large church.

It was the first large, large organization that I'd been a part of, And if you've gone from a smaller organization where everybody knew you kind of understood your quirks, and your ticks and things like that, and you went to a large organization, there was something that was really important for you to understand.

We call this emotional intelligence, social skills, self-awareness, all of those different things. And I went to this large organization and I realized very quickly that I needed to work on so many of these things. And I went to one of the campuses at this church and I'm sitting with somebody- he's one of the worship leaders, and so they don't say much, but they said this: , they were talking to me and they said: "Yeah, I heard about you". But it's, it's weird because my wife, she was on the worship team alongside this person and she said, "But I knew your wife first".

And so when I hear these things about you, I thought, "There's no way with her".

Like, there's no way. He's this bad if she's this good. That's what she said to me. It's not good for Matt to be alone.

And so my wife was there she, like she completed me, Like if she walks into a room, there's a fragrant aroma that that kills the stench that I already brought.

You know, And I think for you, men, you got to understand this- your wife is there for a reason. The first time I ever got hired, the pastor looked at me. For in church, the, the pastor looked at me and he said: "I want you to know, Matt, don't get cocky, We hired you because of her". I've got gifts.

I bring value, I'm, I'm self-sacrificial in the way I think most of the time that God calls me to be, but, but there's something that she brings: she rescues me.

She's an instrument that God provided to rescue me. She doesn't save me, But she does rescue me from some of my bad personality quirks. She does rescue me from some of the negativity that dwells within me. There are things about her that complement me.

She's my Azar and Egdo, my corresponding ally, And when you look in Scripture, you see this throughout.

This is the role of a woman: to be an ally. And what I want to do is I want to ask you a couple rhetorical questions that I hope will help you, not determine, necessarily, whether you're a godly woman, but for you to ponder what it looks like to move in that direction. We can all grow today, whether you're single, whether you're married, whether you've been divorced or widowed, Regardless of where you stand as a woman in this room. We can all grow in these categories, And I hope it'll be helpful.

The first question I want to ask you is: do you compete or do you complete?

The reason I say that is because there's so many roles that we get all jacked up today, And I'm not even just talking about the things that we always want to make fun of. You should be doing this cuz you're a man, or you should be doing this as a woman, or you should submit in this specific way because you're a woman and you should lead in this specific way cuz you're a man. Let's, let's get that out of the window for a second so we can talk about the reality. Are you okay following God's calling on your life, as it is departmentally different than God's will for your husband's life?

That's, that's just a question.

Are you seeking to be the complement to your husband or you seeking to compete with your husband? And there's so many different ways that we can compete. I could give you example after example, but I've got a slide here that I just want to help you with. In Genesis it says there's a helper that's corresponding or suitable.

It's a strength that corresponds to the other.

This isn't you being weaker than your husband. This is you corresponding to your husband. You're not beneath him and you're not against him. So if your husband's in the room, don't make your wife subservient For wives in the room who are subservient, figure out a way to actually be an ally rather than just an assistant in terms of the calling.

Don't be against your husband, even when he's being a jerk.

Don't have a posture that's against your husband. Disagree all you want. We disagree all the time. It's.

It's fun and not fun at the same time.

Disagree all you want, but don't be against them. We serve a God who's for us, not against us, And if you're going to be a help, you need to be for the one who's looking to the mountains for the help. Be a helper, an ally, not a competition. I've seen marriages and relationships where one person wants what they want and they do it almost to the neglect of what the other person wants.

So are you seeking to compete or complete?

A competitor is someone who wants to live their life the way that they want to live it, Someone who's seeking to complete, is someone who wants to honor God in their marriage, which means they've got to sacrifice daily on both sides Because I, I want to complete this person. If I want to complete this person rather than compete with this person, then when they have a friend group and they're developing their social skills- just an easy thing to think about, Not the most important, just a thing- They have a friend group and they're developing social skills and they're trying to develop hobbies and they're trying to grow. But you also want to do the same thing. Are you fighting about it the whole time?

Or are you saying, "Okay, I want them to grow because I don't want to be against them, I don't want to compete with them, I want to compliment them cuz we do this together" I put this here: She is beside him or behind him.

Beside him means I'm not like just doing my own thing, I'm doing life with my husband. Behind him doesn't mean what you think it means. Behind him is like: if you want to push someone forward, what do you? Got to do?

Got to get behind them?

I? I love that my wife is behind me, Like she's not just back there trying to catch up cuz I'm running fast, She is behind me pushing me forward. When I come home after a day of maybe like some people didn't show up that I'd hoped would be here, I'm like "Oh, poor me" And she's like, "Hey, God's got a calling on your life. Hey, you could do this, You could do this".

I woke up this morning I was like "Man, I wonder if we could do this" And she's like, "Yeah, you should totally do that" And I'm like, "No, The wife's in the room You've been there.

Don't compete with your husband. Complete them. Second question: do you create a safe space? Do you create a safe space?

Maybe it's your household or maybe it's just your presence.

Do you create a safe space? Proverbs 31:11 says this: "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life". Now, many of you in the room, you've read Proverbs 31 and I want to just be clear about this.

Proverbs 31 is the thing that all the men throw out to the women and they're like: "You should read that and be that type of woman, Be a Proverbs 31 woman".

Proverbs 31, when it starts with the portion where it talks about a wise woman, is actually the personification of wisdom. It's not explicitly and only talking about a woman. Also, it's an acrostic with the Hebrew alphabet, from aleph all the way to tav, Tav, yeah, all the way to tav, And it's just, it's just a poem that is talking about wisdom personified in the form of a woman. This is not a list that you need to check and do all of.

I just want to be clear about Proverbs 31 for you as I talk about it.

But it is what wisdom, and it is helpful, And this woman is one that their husband has full confidence And she brings him good, not harm. Back to the question: do you create a safe space where your husband and your kids and everybody else around you can thrive? Because it's not cultural safe space Now you're going to have some hard conversations in your safe space, But do you create an atmosphere where people thrive rather than people being frustrated or diminished? This is trust, Confidence, Goodness.

Does your husband wonder about where you are mentally, physically and emotionally?

Do they wonder, Man, there's such a valuable thing. I grew up and I struggled when I was younger, but just just because there are a lot of people that I knew in my life who'd been unfaithful to their spouses, and I didn't know very many women who were, who were faithful And so when I got into college I was like I guess I'm just going to be single, cuz I don't have trust built up. And then I met Hannah And you know it helped when I never kissed a dude or whatever. But she's also clear about where she stands emotionally And is very helpful for a dense idiot like me.

When I'm talking to her to know where she stands.

She creates a safe place for me. Now I'm not just trying to make you feel bad about yourself in comparison to my wife. My wife's got her beefs too. Speaking of beef, we're doing next week- we're handing out ribs.

That's a good joke, Jake.

And what kind of space do you create? Is it, is it safe? Does Does your husband feel like you're with him, Even if you disagree sometimes? Does he?

Does he feel like the next step he makes you're going to leave the house?

Does he? Does he feel like you're for him, not against him? How does? How does he feel?

What kind of atmosphere are you creating?

Does he sense an anxious presence when he walks in, Is he walking on eggshells? I know it's two-sided, but as for I'm asking you now for permission not to just go back to the men. I hit them pretty hard last week, so I'm going to talk about women today. What space are you creating?

How do you correct?

Do you correct with belief in him Or with belittling of him? We have this value. At our church. We say to imagine more.

We imagine more, And this comes kind of from from God, who will do immeasurably more than we ask, think or imagine.

So we say: "What happens if we imagine more, then"? As a wife to a husband, one way that you complete them is by believing in them. And I know it's hard, Cuz, cuz some of y'all, including my wife, are just married to these dudes, you know- And Yeah, it's funny cuz y'all are- I talked about them last week- Like they may be like "I'm a man, I'm a real man" And you're like "Sure, you are, sweetie". And then the other ones are like "Man, I suck at everything" And you're like "No, you don't".

Yeah, I know it's tough.

Sometimes They're like all over the place, That's the woman They be like. That's the woman You're like. That's, That's how I'm supposed to be. Not you, sweetie, You need to get your stuff together.

And I know you want to just like punch them sometimes, Cuz culture still kind of allows you to punch us.

Cuz if a dude like calls the cops and he's like "She hit me, sir, officer", And I'm just like "Okay bro", Man up a little bit. Anyways, it's not about that, You shouldn't hit your husband. What I'm saying is: I know it can be difficult to believe in your spouse sometimes, because you got your own struggles you're dealing with And you're trying to gauge, while in a relationship, whether, if you support this person, you're going to end up at your desired outcome. You got to get that out.

You got to focus on Jesus.

He's the one who perfects, He's the one who changes the trajectory of the story, And when you seek him and create an environment of safety, then you actually have an atmosphere for them to do what they should. Now, this doesn't mean they will. God's got to get a hold of them, But you're not God. But one of the ways you rescue your husband is by believing in them when they don't believe in themselves.

A safe woman is not a silent woman.

She's a faithful woman. I just want to be so clear about that. Number three: are you a strong counterpart or an anxious presence? Anxiety can come on real strong, Being against them can come on really strong.

But are you a strong counterpart or an anxious presence?

One sounds loud, sounds strong, but isn't. The other. One is strong but looks radically different than some of you may be familiar with. The goal as a wife, as a helper, as an, as a an egg dough, is to be a strong counterpart, Not at whatever you want to do.

I mean, sometimes you will do that, Like dinner and stuff.

When it comes to something serious it's like "Hey, let's pray together, sweetie". Like like let's, let's talk about this. Strong counterpart. It's not good for man to be alone.

Sometimes men want to be alone and they want to act alone and they want to do stuff alone and they want to make decisions alone.

But it's not good for man to do that alone. That's what you're there for. You're there because God placed you there intentionally so that you would do what only he called you to do, not what he called them to do. They're missing something without you.

You've got to be a strong counterpart, the yin to their yang.

You have got to really follow Jesus and bring your part into it. If you're just sitting there waiting on him to lead you, you're going to. You're going to be frustrated for a while, But if you allow God to lead you and he leads you in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake, that's going to overflow- 1 Peter, chapter 3, right into the heart and the mind of your spouse. And it may take longer for some than others to get the picture, but, as you are a strong counterpart, the atmosphere of your family's going to change.

In leadership, we would say that's leading up Or side by side, whichever one doesn't offend you.

Proverbs 31:25 says: "She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come". And a lot of us, we can't laugh at the days to come. We're stressed out.

We open up the Fox News or the CNN article and we're like: "Oh my gosh, a I cloud cyber attack.

They closed the straight of vermouth". I don't know what it I forgot, I stopped watching it. It keeps changing It's. I don't want to be stressed out, I got too much to do.

And- and I keep looking at this- "Oh, did you hear what happened down the street?

Did you see what's happening, Buckeye? This is crazy. This is not good, This is not helpful". Here's your litmus test: Can you laugh at the days to come?

The only way you laugh at the days to come is if they're not stressed out by you, because you are sustained by your creator.

She's strong and dignified And she can laugh about the future. Now, this woman in Proverbs 31 is not saying the future that like. The future's still bleak sometimes. It can still be difficult.

In fact, when this was written, it's battle after battle after battle after battle after exile into building, into battles.

It's tons of stuff Like life is still hard. Laughing about the future doesn't mean the future is easy. It means your posture is one that you are guarded and sustained by God And you can just not care. Some people stressed out about AI.

Dude.

I had some people come up to me after the AI series. They hated it. I don't know why I keep calling it the AI series. It was the aligning with the image of God series.

Yeah it, it was about the image of God, but people were so frustrated about it.

Why, As you get into the conversation, there's people scared and anxious about the future with AI And how I delve into it. There's a lot that you could be anxious about. I'm being honest with you. There's a lot you could be anxious about People anxious they're going to lose their job.

You might be anxious- your husband and you might lose your job.

You might be anxious about what this means for your kids. The Bible says that we're called to live in such a way that we're strong and dignified enough to just giggle about the future. I'm just not stressed about it Because if it does take over the world, God's going to come afterwards and save it. That's what the woman after God does.

So you know, even if it's bad, even if gas prices are high, I'm still good because he's still God.

Be a strong counterpart, not an anxious presence. That's strength and dignity, not control and panic. Your confidence is in the Lord and you're not letting anxiety rule. The next question: do your words carry wisdom?

It's a big one.

I've seen some bad advice, Hannah, Bad advice. I've been watching that Off Campus show Walking around. Do you watch Off Campus yet? Have you watched Off Campus yet?

I put that show on.

Goodness gracious, Love Island people. Let's go further. When you're watching that show, you're like: do people in the world think like this? Do they really?

And you're old enough to know that lifestyle doesn't work out the way you thought it would.

But then you got the audacity to look at people that are younger than you and say, "Yeah, you should, just There's a lot of fish in the sea". You can't marry the first person that you're dating. Yeah, if they stink, don't marry them, But don't go out there with this, this advice that says "Yeah, you got to go. You got to go.

You know, The first three thoughts that came to my mind were not good to say.

Like: you got to [clears throat]. You got to go find the one. It's like if you're looking for the one, you're in trouble already. If you're looking for the one and that one is not Jesus, your marriage will suffer.

And then the advice that people keep giving is the worst man.

It's like the moment you get offended. It's like "Yeah, how dare they". I've seen people leave their spouses because one of their friends is like "I can't believe he did that". Some of your chat GPT needs to shift too.

You're getting advice from chat GPT without chat GPT, and now you're giving advice from that that's not helping somebody else.

But the woman who has wisdom that comes from God's word is valuable and different. Proverbs 31:26 says she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is in her tongue. What do your words have within them? Is it the imprint of God or of the world?

Do you know when to be empathetic?

Do you know when to give feedback? Do you know when to build people up? Do you know what gossip is? What do your words carry?

Five: does your life preach?

Does your life preach? 1 Peter 3:1. I've referred to it several times. I'm going to read it for you here.

It says: "Wives in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they- verse two, see the purity and reverence of yours".

Now, what that's not saying is stay in an abusive relationship. What it is saying is there's something that happens when we follow God without making a crazy big deal about it, And at at worst, your husband will see something different about you than they've experienced before You. You live in such a way that you love God so consistently faithfully that it overflows into the vibe of your household. And when it overflows, it's going.

It's going to hit people.

They may not do the right thing with it. Not everybody's going to be ready. To some it's going to be fragrant aroma, to others it's going to be a stench of death- Remember 2 Corinthians. But it will overflow And it will have an impact.

God's word does not return void.

So live in such a way that, without words, your husband may be won over. I know some of you are just praying for your husband to get the word. Keep praying, Keep being patient and enduring, because what's going to happen is you're going to know God at the deeper level than you currently do as you follow him. Your kids are going to continue in that same pursuit, I believe, And then eventually your husband and your extended family may get on board.

I've seen it happen, And we've only been open for 2 and 1/2 years.

I've seen it happen so many times already: Baptizing husbands because their wives were patient enough and believed in them rather than being against them. Next, Number six: are you adorning the outside of the inside? 1 Peter. The next verse says: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment.

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit".

Let me say it this way: I want to be careful with the way that I say it, But you can tell when someone is focused on superficial things versus supernatural and spiritual things. It is a, It is a, It's an aroma that no one really identifies immediately, but they can tell, Like if I'm in a conversation with you and I don't want you to be scared. I'm not judgmental. I'm trying to let loving kindness lead people to repentance.

Sometimes I'm actually un- like, unnecessarily intense, but I'm trying to honor God in the way that I operate.

But if you and I are chatting, if you and somebody else are chatting, anyone who has been in the word of God for an amount of time can tell immediately when you're focused on superficial things. And I want to tell you, wives and women in the room, if the sum total of your beauty is getting your hair done, getting your nails done, pedicures, you know, self-care days, all the other stuff. There's a problem. Proverbs even says about the woman of wisdom that she, she gets up early and she puts on rings and all these other things.

There's nothing wrong with adorning yourself outwardly, but what's crucial is that you do it inwardly.

You need to be so much more focused on soul care than you do self-care. It's crazy. You, you've got to care about the innermost part of your soul and that is what God wants. If you haven't handed it over to him, then you're going to appear and be superficial and adorn yourself with all of the outward things that will fade.

Their beauty is fleeting And they're not going to last into eternity.

So adorn the right things, The woman of God she chooses, or she is consumed by a thought: life with God, not superficial stuff. Gentle and quiet is what 1 Peter says, And this is not about silence, it's about posture. It's about posture. Gentle means strength under God's control.

How can I be gentle when I'm not anxious and stressed, Or expecting or controlling?

I'm gentle when I know who's in control. When am I quiet? I'm quiet when I'm settled before God. Women in the room.

Gentle and quiet doesn't mean silent and submissive.

Gentle and quiet means strong under the hand of God And quiet Settled In his salvation, In your process of sanctification and in your eternity. And when you're settled, that impacts your home and your husband. Next, do you fear the Lord? Do you fear the Lord?

Chap Chapter 31 of Proverbs, verse 30, says: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Do you fear the Lord". The woman who fears the Lord anchors herself, Cuz fear is so often in the construct of like, like ship fairing. When do you get scared? When?

When there's a storm on the sea.

So what is helpful when there's a storm on the sea and you're docked An anchor? If the Lord is your anchor because you fear him first, then everything else must bow to your fear of God. This woman isn't focused on man's approval, But they're focused on alignment with God. And Proverbs tells us various times and various ways that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

And for you, wives and women in the room, fear God.

That'll be the starting place for your wisdom, For your wise words, And it's going to be the anchor for your worship. You don't want to worship in this flailing, inconsistent, unstable sense. You want to worship with an anchor that guides your soul. So I want to take us back to Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25.

Where we were last week with husbands, It says: "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

What you see here is an. It's a metaphor, but it's a reality. It's an image that, just as Christ gave himself up for us, we as husbands are called to give ourselves up for our wives And wives. This is what you're called to.

God uses you to make your husbands whole.

You're whole, But your husband leads. Your husband is not whole without you. You are his help, His ezer anegdo in a marriage. Just like God is ultimately where our help comes from, You're not his salvation, God is, but you are a part of God's assistance to your husband as he's standing there in the midst of a tumultuous situation.

Lord send help.

He sent you Now. Monday- I was Monday or Tuesday, Tuesday, cuz my wife was gone. I was sitting there alone spending way too much time on cloud, code And, in our staff meeting that morning I we'd gotten a call to the church. It was this: We see the voice memos And it said: "I'm from Arkansas, This is where I'm from.

I saw you and your wife, in a magazine", Which is interesting.

So you and your wife in a magazine, And I wanted to call and pray for you. And so I'm like, "That's interesting" I told the team: "I guess I'll call her back". So I called her back that evening. She answers the phone and she's 80- 81 years old.

Her name was Glenda, 81.

Picture in a perm, curly hair, white, short- Just I'm. I don't know what she looks like, but I'm picturing that. And so she answers the phone and I tell her who I am and she said: "Well, I've reached out because I saw that you guys have a sending church. So one of when we launched, we had other churches who partnered with us, and so they had listed one of the churches that partnered with us and their leaders.

And so she recognized their names and so she said: "Maybe the Lord's inviting me to call you". And so she called and I had called her back and, . We're processing through that. And I said: "Hey, did you know that I was from Little Rock, Arkansas" where she lived?

Long story short, she knew every single person that had an impact on me when I was growing up. And, so one of the people she knew was the missions pastor with the church that I became a Christian at in eighth grade. This person had led me to go on a mission trip to Brazil in 2004. And when I went on that mission trip, we visited some missionaries on that mission trip and she said: "What were their names".

I told them, told her the names of the missionaries, and she said: "There's a missions house near us and my husband and I- he's since been promoted 3 years ago, meaning he had passed.

And she said: "We used to go in" And she starts tearing up as she's telling, me about how her husband and she would go in to these, this missionary house, and they would just sit and listen to the stories of these missionaries so that they could put them on their prayer documents and start praying for these missionaries. And she had been praying for them since the '90s. And so I told her I on this trip to Brazil and I felt called to ministry, And so I just spoke back to her. I said: "Man, it's crazy that the missionaries you were on the prayer team to that you've been praying for for years provided the experience for me to go with that other person you were praying for And I received the call to ministry.

And now you've continued to do that And 22 years later, every day you are praying for people who are doing the will of God".

And I'm just like. That's a godly woman. It's someone who is so desperate for the hand of God over her life, . So saturated with the belief of what God can do that every day, for 30-plus years now as a widow, she reads about people that she needs to be praying for and intercedes on our behalf.

So, for the women in this room, I've I've given you some feedback and some advice, but I want you to ponder: is that your trajectory?

You may not have the same gifting she has. You may have something radically different, but are you living in such a way that you're trying to apprehend the nature of God so adamantly that, once you obtain it and taste and see that the Lord is good, that every single day you're at his altar praying, interceding for your husband, interceding for your kids, interceding for those randos you know nothing about because you trust the power of God and the hand of God in this world? Are you on that trajectory? If you're not, I would, to you, Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and he may bring you into that position.

It's going to look different for you, Don't stress out.

You don't need to be an older lady at 81 years old with a perm in the south praying over missionaries. You might be the person who lifted up your husband in such a way that nobody else could do. You may be the one who raises your kids in such a way that they know they were loved and because you love them the way that God loved you, they know the love of God and they don't flee from it when they get older. I don't know what it is for you, but God has called you to live as a godly woman, as a rescue to those around you, as an embodiment of his-, there, his- help.

I don't know about you.

That doesn't sound like a trad wife. That sounds like a calling. Let's lean into it Y'all, Everybody. Actually, I did it for the men, Women.

If you would stand for a moment, Husbands, if you would hold her hand this time.

I don't know about you, but I, I'm, I'm into calling these days, . Tired of comfort. It's not fun, makes me lazy, gives me a gut. Let's move into calling.

We're going to get fit, spiritually, physically, [singing] and everything else.

So I want to speak over you right now, . So if you would bow your heads, close your eyes, Husbands, don't jack around. Hold their hand. .

Boyfriends, hold their hand.

If you don't, I'm going to tell you to break up with them. I'm just kidding, God. I pray that you would give them a word right now. A word first for for you, One that helps them follow you deeply.

Secondly, a word for them and their husband.

God, I pray that you would give them the patience that lasts long enough to build up their husband, Not as a subordinate but as an ally. God, I pray for every woman in this room that you would give them a wisdom that surpasses knowledge and a peace that surpasses understanding. I pray that you would guard their heart and enable them to be the women of calling, like Hannah in the Bible, like Mary in the Bible, like Rahab, like Deborah, Priscilla, Lydia, Tabitha. God, give them a calling.

God, we love you and we believe that right now, It is in Jesus' name that we pray and God's people said "Amen".

Women, if you receive that calling, say "Yeah". Ooh, I love it Better than the dudes. Husbands, if you're cool with that, say "Yeah", Yeah, All right. Hey, everybody stand up, Everybody stand up.

Hey, I dismiss you from here, but never from the presence of God.

Put on that worship music, open up that Bible, learn from God, and allow him to lead you, rather than you do just what you want to do. If you're with me, say "Amen". Hey, we'll see you guys next week. Have a great one.